Fort Meade's BEST Hotel? TownePlace Suites Jessup Review!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the TownePlace Suites Jessup, the supposed "BEST" hotel near Fort Meade. Now, I’m not one to mince words, so let's get this straight: I'm here to give you the real deal. Not some sanitized, cookie-cutter review. You want a fluffy, marketing-speak fest? Go somewhere else. You want the honest truth, the good, the bad, and the slightly-burnt-breakfast-sausage ugly? You're in the right place.
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First Impressions & Accessibility: Roll Up or Walk In, We'll See…
Okay, so the outside? Standard. Brick, clean-ish, predictable. No fireworks display to greet you, but hey, it's not the Bellagio. Parking was plentiful and FREE. Score one for not nickel-and-diming me, right? Now, Accessibility. This is crucial, and I'm giving it a proper look-over. Ramps? Yep. Elevators? Check. The rooms? We'll get there. But the initial impression for someone with mobility issues seemed decent. Wide doors is a must!
Speaking of doors, the DoorMan wasn't exactly there. No "Welcome, esteemed guest!" just a generic welcome to the front desk. Which is fine, but don't advertise services you ain't providing. Point being, the lobby was accessible. A good start!
Checking In & The Room… (Hold Your Breath)
Check-in/out [Contactless]? Yep! I’m a germophobe, so a quick, no-touch check-in? Sold! Easy peasy. The staff was… there. Not overflowing with personality, but efficient. My key card worked. Success!
Now, the room. This is where things get interesting. I specifically requested a Non-Smoking Room and, praise the heavens above, that wish was granted! [Non-smoking] That's a huge win right off the bat.
Available in all rooms: We're talking Air conditioning (essential in Maryland summers!), Alarm clock (thank GOD), Bathrobes (didn't see any, but I'm not complaining), Blackout curtains (yessss!), Coffee/tea maker (vital for a caffeine addict like myself), Complimentary tea (thank you, hotel gods!), Daily housekeeping (yay cleanliness!), Desk (needed a workspace), Free bottled water (nice touch), Hair dryer (the one thing that's a must!), Internet access – wireless (duh!), Ironing facilities (wrinkle warriors rejoice!), Mini bar (stocked with… nothing. Fine), Refrigerator (useful!), Satellite/cable channels (TV!), Seating area (comfort factor!), Shower (and water!), Smoke detector (safety first!), Sofa (a couch!) and Wi-Fi [free]. So, a pretty standard set up, it does the trick.
But…
There was a slightly off feeling. Kind of like a faint lingering scent of… something. Not offensive, just… there. The carpet felt a bit worn, and the grout in the bathroom definitely saw better days. Look, it's not the Four Seasons. But it was CLEAN. Just, you know, used.
I will mention there was an extremely comfortable Sofa in the room, where I sprawled and binged Netflix. Excellent!
The Breakfast Wars (And The Mysterious Case of the Dried-Out Sausage)
Okay, here's where things get… colorful. The Breakfast [buffet] is supposedly "Free" with the booking. This is the make-or-break for me!
Dining, drinking, and snacking they state. [Breakfast service] The usual suspects: toast, waffles, scrambled eggs, fruit, and… the dreaded Breakfast [buffet]. Coffee/tea in restaurant? Yes. [Buffet in restaurant] This is where the fun begins.
Now, I'm generally a breakfast person. I LOVE breakfast.
The coffee was… passable. The fruit was… okay. The waffles? Not bad. And then… I saw it. The sausage. Pale, dry, and looking like it had been sunbathing in the Sahara for a week. I took a brave nibble. Let's just say it tasted like disappointment.
Seriously disappointed. This is where I get my rant!
But, I will say… the Breakfast takeaway service was indeed useful. I saw lots of folks loading up to take back up to their room.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Fitness, Failure and Future Plans
Things to do. Let's be honest, you're near Fort Meade. That means you're there for business, or you are the business. There's not going to be an on-site rollercoaster.
ways to relax. There's a Fitness center. I looked at it from the outside. It looked like a standard hotel gym. My gym-averse nature, I avoided it. No Pool with view, Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom… so don't expect that.
Cleanliness and Safety: Sanitized or Still Skeptical?
This is the BIG ONE in these post-pandemic times.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: Hopefully
- Cashless payment service: Yep
- Daily disinfection in common areas: Seemed likely
- Hand sanitizer: Everywhere
- Hygiene certification: Unsure!
- Individually-wrapped food options: Yeah the breakfast sort of did this.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: … Not entirely.
- Safe dining setup: Pretty safe. Not a complete cattle-call.
- Rooms sanitized between stays: Hopefully!
- Staff trained in safety protocol: Seemed likely.
The hotel seemed to be taking things seriously with a lot of the basic precautions. It’s no obsessive-compulsive sanitizing haven, but it felt reasonably clean.
Services and Conveniences: The Usual Suspects… and Some Surprises!
[Services and conveniences] The basics were covered: Air conditioning in public area, Business facilities,, Concierge, Daily housekeeping, Elevator, Facilities for disabled guests, Front desk [24-hour], Laundry service, Luggage storage. It was all there, it was all operational.
They also provide Car park [free of charge] which is awesome!
For the kids: There aren't any. Getting around: Pretty easy.
The Bottom Line: Should YOU Book TownePlace Suites Jessup?
Alright, let's be honest. TownePlace Suites Jessup is not going to win any awards for luxury. It's a solid, reliable, functional hotel. If you need a place to lay your head near Fort Meade, it’s a perfectly acceptable choice.
The Pros:
- Free Parking!
- Generally Clean.
- Convenient Check-in/Out.
- Decent Free Wi-Fi.
- Good Accessibility.
- Free Breakfast (Even if the sausage is slightly suspect.)
The Cons:
- The Room Decor is a little dated.
- Breakfast… can be hit or miss.
Is it the "BEST" hotel near Fort Meade?
Maybe. It depends on your priorities, but probably not. There are probably better. But, it's good, reliable, and won't break the bank. For the price, it’s a reasonable option.
My Emotional Reaction? Neutral-to-Slightly-Positive. I didn’t hate it. I didn't love it.
Final Verdict: Book it if you need a place to crash, don't mind a slightly worn vibe, and appreciate a free breakfast (even if you skip the sausage).
My Offer for YOU:
Book your stay at the TownePlace Suites Jessup today and get a FREE upgrade (subject to availability) and a complimentary voucher for a premium beverage at the hotel bar! (Please note: The beverage voucher does not cover the mystery sausage.) Use code REVIEW10 at checkout on our website for a 10% discount on your stay! Book through a hotel specific website using this link (not a third party) to make sure you get the discount!
So there you have folks! The raw, messy truth about TownePlace Suites Jessup. Now go forth and book or don't book, but at least you're informed. And remember, if you see that sausage, run. Run far, far away.
Escape to Paradise: Fuji Lake Hotel's Unforgettable Views!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's pristine travel itinerary. This is… well, this is me, unleashed on the TownePlace Suites in Fort Meade. Get ready for a rollercoaster of emotions, questionable choices, and the delightful chaos of real life.
The Fort Meade Fiasco: A Totally Unofficial Itinerary (Because Officially Planned Things are… bleh)
Day 1: Arrival and the Great Coffee Conspiracy
3:00 PM: Arrival at TownePlace Suites, Jessup (MD). Okay, first impressions. The lobby? Clean. The air conditioning? Aggressively efficient. I swear, I almost needed a parka. Check-in? Smooth enough. The lady at the front desk seemed genuinely happy to see me, which, frankly, is a bit unnerving after the week I’ve had. I'm already suspicious of her motives. Maybe she knows something I don't. Like, maybe there's some kind of secret society of perfectly coiffed hotel staff plotting world domination from behind the continental breakfast buffet.
3:30 PM: Into the Hotel Room - The Assessment. My room is… fine. Average. Beige. The kind of room that screams, "Indifference is the name of the game." One slight problem. I'm pretty sure someone replaced my favorite coffee with the worst coffee on the planet. Seriously, it tastes like tar mixed with sadness. Coffee is essential for me. I'm calling the front desk. This is war.
4:00 PM: The Coffee Crisis Resolved (Sort Of). The front desk was… apologetic and said they would "look into it." Look into it?! Lady, I'm not asking you to solve global warming. I just want a decent cup of friggin' coffee! Then, as I've ordered coffee, I realized, I did not book the room with breakfast, so no coffee. Well, there goes my day. Off I go to find some.
4:30 PM: The Quest for Caffeine! (and possibly a decent donut). Armed with my credit card and a simmering rage (kidding… mostly), I venture out. First stop: a Starbucks. The usual. Then, the quest for breakfast.
- Side Note: Why is it always like, 90% of the people at a Starbucks are on their laptops and acting like an entrepreneur? Stop it. You're just on social media, and you probably aren't even drinking coffee!
- Side Note: Oh. Donuts. I'm going to get donuts.
5:30 PM: The Work Block. (Ugh) Back in the room, fighting the urge to nap. Stare at the laptop… and then, procrastination sets in.
7:00 PM: Dinner and a Walk (Probably). Dinner: Maybe an UberEats or something nearby. Walk? Probably. I need to get a move on. It's the only way I'll unwind. The sun is setting. I must walk.
8:30 PM: The Room Rematch. Back in the room, I'm going to try and find some other things to do. Maybe get some sleep and rest.
9:30 PM: Sleep? Maybe. (Or more Netflix…). One can only hope.
Day 2: Adventure! (Possibly Involving Laundry)
7:00 AM: Coffee Contemplation (The Second Day). I'm going to brave that coffee again. Maybe it will be different? This is so silly to be this upset, but in a world of uncertainty, coffee can be a constant and the best way to start a day. It's the little things, people.
7:30 AM: The Battle Royale: Brekkie, Laundry, and… Work?! The continental breakfast is a joke. The "hot" food is lukewarm at best. I'll probably hit the laundromat to do my clothing. And then, for work. Sigh.
9:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Work, Work, Work, Work. Slogging through emails, conference calls, and the soul-crushing monotony of… well, you know.
12:00 PM: Lunch: Solo Dining. Probably something quick and easy, maybe a sandwich or a salad. The loneliness of a solo lunch hits you sometimes. It's a weird void.
1:00 PM - 5:00 PM: More Work. Ugh. Can I just… skip this part? No. I cannot.
5:00 PM: The GREAT Escape. Time to get away. Maybe I will go to a museum or a park.
6:30 PM: Dinner: Probably an early one tonight.
8:00 PM: Evening Relaxation. Read. Watch something on TV. Maybe a soak in the tiny bathtub?
9:30 PM: The Great Sleep. (Praying For It).
Day 3: Departure and a Post-Mortem
7:00 AM: The Coffee Verdict. I'm not even going to try the hotel coffee. Straight to Starbucks. I'm not dealing with that level of disappointment again.
7:30 AM: Last Breakfast. Toast. That's it. Safe and predictable.
8:00 AM - 11:00 AM: The Final Grind (Work Edition). Finish what needs to be finished.
11:00 AM: Check-out: The last goodbye. The last interaction. Say goodbye to the hotel staff.
11:30 AM: Farewell to Jessup. Onward! To new adventures.. and hopefully, better coffee.
Epilogue: The Emotional Aftermath
This trip, in its own messy way, was a microcosm of life. Highs, lows, unexpected coffee catastrophes. I survived. I worked. I walked. And yeah, I'm going to be craving a decent latte for weeks.
The TownePlace Suites? Fine. Functional. But for me, the real travel stories weren't about the hotel itself - it was about the moments, the battles I had with the coffee machine, and the simple joy of the evening walks. And that, my friends, is what makes travel truly memorable!
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TownePlace Suites Jessup: Fort Meade's "Best" Hotel... Or Is It? (My Honest Brain Dump)
Okay, so... is this TownePlace Suites REALLY the best bet for Fort Meade visits?
Look, "best" is subjective, right? One person's dream is another person's...well... *slightly disappointing* reality. I'll be honest. I've stayed at this place a bunch, mostly because…Fort Meade. And honestly, yes, it's probably your *best* bet, by default. It's clean, usually; the suites are actually suites, which is fantastic if you're stuck there for a while. Trying to cram my entire family into a single hotel room? *Never. Again.* Seriously.
BUT… and this is a big but… let's not get carried away with the "best" label. It's not the Ritz. It’s a solid, reliable, "gets-the-job-done" kind of place. Think of it as the comfortable, slightly-worn-in work boots of hotels. You wouldn't go on a date in them, but they'll get you through the hike.
Let's talk about the breakfast... is the free breakfast actually edible?
Oh, the breakfast. This is where things get… interesting. They *try*. They really, really do. There’s the standard continental suspects: various yogurts, some sad-looking fruit (bananas that are either green-as-grass or already turning brown), bagels, instant oatmeal that looks like it came from the bottom of a dusty bag… you get the picture.
But! Sometimes, they have the hot stuff. The *holy grail* of free hotel breakfasts. Scrambled eggs (pray they're not the rubbery pre-made kind), sausage (the kind that screams "processed!"), and… waffles. The waffle makers are a real gamble. Sometimes, they work perfectly. Sometimes they’re like demented, sticky demons. I've seen people get *very* competitive about those waffles. I remember one time, a lady nearly came to blows with a kid over a slightly burned one. Wild.
My advice? Lower your expectations. Pack some Clif bars. And if the waffles are working, grab one for me. Please.
The suites! Are they actually… *suites*? Because marketing lies.
YES! YES, they are! And this is a huge win. Seriously, a separate living area is a game-changer, especially if you have kids. Or, you know, just *want* a little privacy. There's a sofa, a desk, a little kitchenette with a fridge and microwave. Hallelujah!
Sometimes, the pull-out sofa is… well, let's just say it's seen better days. Once, it nearly swallowed my brother-in-law. He was just trying to watch TV and BAM! Vanished. We found him later, mostly unharmed, but with a profound distrust of pull-out sofas. Check it before you plonk down.
The bedrooms are decent, the beds are comfortable enough (though, again, not Ritz-Carlton-level comfort), and the bathrooms are… functional. Bring your own shampoo, though. The complimentary stuff is usually… questionable.
What about the location? Is it convenient for Fort Meade?
Yup. It's practically *in* Fort Meade's shadow. Seriously, it's a short drive. That’s a major selling point if you’re there for official stuff. Avoids traffic nightmares and the general chaos of being around the base.
But…and there's always a "but," isn’t there? You're in Jessup. Jessup, Maryland. Let's just say it's not exactly a bustling metropolis. Dining options are… limited. Think chain restaurants and fast food. Don't expect Michelin stars. Plan accordingly.
One time, I was so desperate for something *not* fried, I ended up at a weird diner miles away. Turns out, it was owned by a guy who kept taxidermied squirrels on the counter. Lesson learned: plan your meals. Seriously.
The amenities… pool, gym, etc.? Worth a damn?
Okay, okay, let’s be real: the pool is small. It's not Olympic regulation. It's more like a glorified oversized bathtub. I've never seen it *packed*, though. It's good for a quick dip, especially if the Maryland humidity is attacking you. But don't plan on training for the Olympics.
The gym? It exists. That’s about all I can say. I walked in once, saw a treadmill, a few weights, and a guy grunting. Turned around and left. Your mileage may vary.
The free Wi-Fi? It’s… adequate. Don’t expect blazing speeds. Sometimes it's like dial-up from the early 2000s. Be prepared to tether to your phone if you need to actually *work*.
Any specific quirks or things to watch out for?
Oh, definitely. Prepare yourself for the elevator. Sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn’t. Sometimes it makes the most unsettling groaning noises. If you're on a high floor, pack your patience (and maybe some snacks).
The walls? They are… not soundproof. Especially in the mornings. You'll hear the joyous sounds of children running down the halls. You'll hear the faint murmur of a neighbor's TV. Bring earplugs. Seriously. Or embrace the chaos.
Finally… the vending machines. They *always* steal your money. It's a law of the universe, I swear. I once lost a dollar trying to get a bag of chips that looked especially delicious. Never saw that dollar again. Avoid the vending machines. Buy your snacks in advance.
So, final verdict: Should I stay here?
Look, if you need to be near Fort Meade and want a roomier, more comfortable option than a cramped hotel room, then yeah, probably. It's not luxurious, but it's functional. It has its flaws, like everything, but it gets the job done. Just lower your expectations, bring your own shampoo (and maybe some earplugs), and prepare for a breakfast adventure. And if you see me there, offer me a waffle. I deserve it.
Final answer: Yes, but manage your expectations. You’ll survive. You might even… enjoy it (slightly).
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