Escape to Paradise: Decameron Club & Ramada All-Inclusive, Runaway Bay, Jamaica!
Escape to Paradise: Decameron Club & Ramada All-Inclusive - Runaway Bay, Jamaica: A Messy, Honest, and (Hopefully) Helpful Review
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to unload my brain about Escape to Paradise: Decameron Club & Ramada All-Inclusive in Runaway Bay, Jamaica. This ain't your cookie-cutter, perfectly polished review. This is the real deal. I'm talking messy hair, sandy toes, and a slight sunburn, all wrapped up in an attempt to tell you if this place is worth your hard-earned vacation dollars.
First Impressions & Accessibility: The Good, the Bad, and the "Needs Improvement"
Getting there? Easy peasy, if you're used to island time. The airport transfer was smooth (thanks to the included airport transfer option – yay! And it deserves a separate SEO: Airport transfer). Now, about accessibility… This is where things get a little… complicated.
Important for SEO: Accessibility, Wheelchair Accessible, Facilities for Disabled Guests.
Truthfully? It's advertised as accessible, and yes, there are ramps and elevators (bless the elevators!). However, navigating the grounds with a wheelchair (or even just mobility issues) can be a bit of a trek. Some paths felt a bit…chunky. Think cobblestone-esque, not exactly smooth sailing (pun intended!). This felt a bit less about true accessibility and more about hitting the bare minimum checklist. Sigh. They do have some Facilities for Disabled Guests, but honestly, the experience needed a much more thorough going-over.
The Rooms: Comfort and the Quest for the Perfect View
Available in all rooms SEO: Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens.
Okay, the rooms. The standard rooms were…fine. Functional. They had the basics, which, honestly, is all I needed. The air conditioning worked like a champ – a crucial element in the Jamaican heat! ( Air conditioning is your friend). And the Free Wi-Fi? Bless. It wasn't blazing fast, but hey, it kept me connected. The in-room safe was appreciated, as well. My room? Not a high floor, but hey, at least I was able to enjoy it.
Important for SEO: Free Wi-Fi in all rooms, Internet access – wireless, Non-smoking
Now, the view. Yeah… I’m one of those people who can't handle a no-view room. So, I paid extra for a room that promised a decent ocean view. And it delivered! Waking up to that turquoise water? Worth every penny. (Side note, be prepared to battle for a decent view when you request it. Requesting a high-floor room can be a plus if one is available).
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Paradise for the Palate (Mostly!)
Key SEO: Restaurants, Bar, Poolside bar, Breakfast [buffet], Buffet in restaurant, A la carte in restaurant, Snack bar, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Room service [24-hour], Happy hour, Desserts in restaurant, Soup in restaurant, Salad in restaurant, Bottle of water.
Alright, let's talk grub. This is an all-inclusive, people. Expect copious amounts of food and drink. The main Restaurant offered a buffet, which was… well, a buffet. Some days it was a true feast, other days it had a bit of that "mass-produced" vibe. But the variety was there, and the staff was always friendly. The Asian cuisine in restaurant was surprisingly decent, and the poolside bar… oh, the poolside bar. Let's just say I had a few Happy Hour moments. The Snack bar was a lifesaver for those mid-afternoon cravings. And the 24-hour Room service was a dream for those late-night munchies. One tip: try the jerk chicken – it’s a Jamaican staple!
The “Oh Lord, the Food!” Story
One day, I was craving serious comfort food. I went to the Buffet in restaurant, scouting for something familiar amidst the array of choices. Then, I saw it: A pile of pale, sad-looking french fries. I could feel my soul deflate. I took a single fry, dipped it in some ketchup, and took a bite… it was cold! My internal reaction? Emotional. It was a little "oh lord," and I almost cried. It was a small thing, but it represented the little imperfections and disappointments you can experience in an all-inclusive. I ended up filling up with a plate of salad and the chicken, which ultimately saved that meal.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax: Sun, Sand, and…Sunburn?
Important SEO: Swimming pool [outdoor], Sauna, Spa, Gym/fitness, Massage, Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Relaxation, Steamroom, Pool with view.
Okay, this is where the "Paradise" part really comes into play. The Swimming pool [outdoor]? Gorgeous. The water was crystal clear, the views were killer. I spent hours lounging by the pool, soaking up the sun. And the beach? Pristine white sand, turquoise water – basically, Instagram heaven. They offered all the usual water sports, too.
My Sauna Experience… Or Lack Thereof I'd heard that the spa was okay, and I'd looked forward to the Sauna. I ended up never going. Maybe I forgot, maybe I got swept up in the drinking and socializing.
The Truth About the Fitness Center
Now, the Gym/fitness center? It was there. It had treadmills and weights. I, uh…walked past it a few times. Let's just say my vacation priority leaned more towards "relaxation" than "reps."
Cleanliness and Safety: The Reality vs. the Promise
Important SEO: Cleanliness and safety, Anti-viral cleaning products, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment.
Okay, let's get real. Post-pandemic, cleanliness is always a concern. The resort claimed they were taking it seriously, with Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hand sanitizer stations everywhere, and Staff trained in safety protocol. And for the most part, I felt safe. Tables were spaced out (mostly), and they encouraged Cashless payment service, which I liked. They said, "we're all about Safety", and I tried to be trusting!.
For the Kids: A Paradise… Or a Parent’s Sanity Saver?
Important SEO: Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal
I wasn't traveling with kids, but I did notice a dedicated Kids facilities, a babysitting service, and the resort's Family/child friendly vibe. They have a kid's club and various activities for children. Seems like a great option if you are traveling with children.
Services, Conveniences, and the Little Things That Matter…or Don't Important SEO: Air conditioning in public area, Audio-visual equipment for special events, Business facilities, Cash withdrawal, Concierge, Contactless check-in/out, Convenience store, Currency exchange, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center
Yes, of course, they offer the basic things, like Daily housekeeping, Cash withdrawal, a Concierge, Laundry service, and a Gift/souvenir shop (for all those last-minute "I need a souvenir" moments!). I don't have much to say about these other than they were available and useful!
Getting Around: Taxis, Transfers, and Island Adventures **Important SEO: Airport transfer,
Escape to Paradise: The Inn at Mazatlan Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're about to dive headfirst into the glorious, chaotic mess that is my imagined Jamaican adventure at the Decameron Club Caribbean and Ramada in Runaway Bay. Forget picture-perfect Instagram feeds, we're going for the grimy, sandy, rum-soaked truth.
The "Plan" (Ha!) - AKA My Attempt at Keeping My Sanity (and Wallet) Intact
Day 1: Arrival - Sunshine, Sarcasm, and Sandy Sandals
- 1:00 PM: Arrival at Sangster International Airport (MBJ), Montego Bay. Bless my cotton socks, the first hurdle! I hate airports. Hordes of people bumping into you, that weird airport smell (a mix of stale coffee and desperation), and the existential dread of "did I pack enough sunscreen?!" Okay, deep breaths. I have a transfer booked. Hopefully, the driver isn't a maniac.
- Anecdote: Last time I flew, I wore a brand new pair of white jeans. By the time I landed, they looked like I'd wrestled a particularly messy pot of marinara sauce. Lesson learned: always pack the "airport uniform" – something comfortable, something dark, and something that can handle a rogue spillage (or a toddler's sticky fingers).
- 2:30 PM: The Great Transfer – Escape from MBJ. The driver’s trying to sell me weed as we drive out of the airport? Jamaica, you’re already winning. The scenery is breathtaking, lush green hills rolling down to the turquoise sea. I'm going to have to remember to breathe.
- Observation: Driving on the left side of the road is absolutely terrifying. I spend the entire trip gripping the armrest like it's a lifeline.
- 4:00 PM: Check-in at Decameron Club Caribbean. The lobby is… big. Like, unnecessarily big. But hey, free rum punch! This is the kind of logic I can get behind. They give us a faded map and a wristband that feels like a fashion statement from the early 2000s. I hope it stretches; I’m notoriously fond of my food.
- 5:00 PM: The Room… Revealed. Okay, the room is… fine. It’s got a balcony that overlooks… something. More importantly, it has air conditioning. Praise the lord. I dump my bags and immediately change into a swimsuit. Beach time!
- Emotional Reaction: The sheer joy of escaping the cold, grey clutches of reality! The smell of the ocean air! The promise of sun-kissed skin! I'm practically weeping with happiness.
- 6:00 PM: First Swim, First Sunset. (and a potential sunburn). The beach is lovely, the water is warm, the waves are mellow. I’m a water baby, so I’m instantly happy. I’m in my element. The sun is setting, painting the sky in a dazzling array of orange, pink, and purple… It's stunning. I stand there, feeling… overwhelmed. Maybe a little too much. I forgot to put on sunscreen. Dammit.
- Quirky Observation: I swear, the sand in Jamaica is extra fine. It gets EVERYWHERE. My toes, my hair, even my eyebrows. Soon, I’ll be a walking, talking sandcastle.
- 7:30 PM: Dinner at the Buffet – A Culinary Adventure (or Disaster?) Okay, the buffet. This is where the rubber meets the road. I approach with a mix of excitement and trepidation. So many choices! So much potential for regret! I load up my plate with jerk chicken (delicious, even if my mouth is on fire), rice and peas (perfectly cooked!), and… a mystery meat. I'll report back.
- 8:30 PM: Evening Entertainment - The "Show". The hotel's entertainment team is putting on a show. Think cheesy dance moves, questionable lip-syncing, and a lot of sequins. It's terrible, but also… hilarious. I drink more rum punch and embrace the absurdity of it all.
Day 2: Sun, Sand, and… More Sun, Sand
- 9:00 AM: Sleep-In and Late Breakfast Ah, glorious sleep. The best medicine for the jet lag and rum-induced haze. I mumble my way to the buffet. More jerk chicken, a couple of ackee and saltfish (a Jamaican specialty that I'm becoming obsessed with), and a generous dose of strong coffee.
- 10:30 AM: Beach Day, Round 2. This time, I arrive prepared. Sunscreen applied (and reapplied!), a good book, and a healthy dose of "don't-care-about-anything" attitude. I find a spot under a palm tree and basically melt into a blob of relaxation.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch at the Beach Bar. Time for a Red Stripe and some fried fish. Perfect. The bar staff is friendly, the view is incredible, and I'm starting to get used to the slow, easy pace of life.
- 1:00 PM: The Great Snorkeling Debacle. I've always wanted to snorkel! So I grab some gear and head into the water. Let's just say my coordination in the water is… lacking. I swallow half the ocean, get tangled in my snorkel, and end up looking more like a flailing seal than a graceful explorer. I give up and go back to the beach, defeated but still smiling.
- Messier Structure: Okay, so the snorkeling thing was not a complete disaster. I did see some fish. But mostly, I just remember choking on saltwater and having a near-panic attack. I'm thinking I'll stick to the shallow end next time… or maybe just admire the ocean from the safety of my beach chair.
- 3:00 PM: Pool Time and Attempting to Read a Book. Let's be honest, I spend more time people-watching than actually enjoying the book. I watch a couple of kids, one with a toy gun, and I think about the complexities of culture and violence. The gun looks oddly harmless, with its bright colors. I am interrupted from my thoughts by someone splashing me.
- 5:00 PM: Another Sunset - Another Moment of "Wow". Seriously, these sunsets are unreal. They are worth the price of admission alone. I watch the sun dip below the horizon, feeling a sense of peace that I rarely experience back home.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner, Drinks, and Maybe a Little Regret. Dinner at the a la carte restaurant. I tried the lobster. It was good, but I think I preferred the jerk chicken. Afterward, rum cocktails – I lose track after the second one. I might be saying goodbye to the world for a few hours.
- Stronger Emotional Reaction: Okay, after the cocktail, I think I felt a little low. A wave of sadness. I missed home, and maybe was a bit lonely. This journey needed to be fun, not depressing.
- 9:00 PM: Evening Entertainment? Nah, I'm Off to Bed. The combination of sun, sand, rum, and jet lag is starting to take its toll. I stumble back to my room, collapse into bed, and drift off to sleep, dreaming of jerk chicken and turquoise water.
Day 3: Excursions, Adventures, and the Potential for Disaster
- 9:00 AM: The Hotel Switch! I get to move resorts! I pack, load up, and head down the road to the Ramada All-Inclusive Resort, and I am ready to begin.
- Opinionated Language: The change of scenery is needed, but I'm still not sure if I will find paradise or just another pretty place.
- 10:00 AM: Exploring the Ramada. The resort is beautiful. I find the swim up bar, and I'm feeling the vibes.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch and Planning for the Day Time to eat again. The lunch buffet is great. The food in Jamaica is amazing. They have more selection at the Ramada, which is perfect. I decide to take a trip into the jungle.
- 2:00 PM: Attempting the Jungle Tour. I decide to take a jungle tour. The tour guide is named Kevin. I have to tell him I'm not here to do anything crazy. I just want to see the jungle.
- Real-sounding anecdotes and imperfections: I get motion sickness, and I get a bit afraid of the jungle, as I am easily lost. But I'm fine, and the jungle feels like a dream.
- 5:00 PM: Back to the Resort! Back to the resort after the jungle tour. I am worn out. Time for a good rest.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at the Ramada. The Ramada has a better dinner selection, so I decide to go there. They have a pasta station! This is the life!
- 9:00 PM: The Night Life. After dinner, I go to the live show. It's amazing, and I love it. The performers are extremely talented. I dance, and
Escape to Paradise: Decameron Club & Ramada - Runaway Bay: Real Talk (and maybe a little rum)
Alright, spill. Is Runaway Bay’s Decameron Club & Ramada *really* paradise? Like, is it Instagram-worthy bliss, or just… a vacation?
Okay, deep breaths. Paradise? Mmm, depends on your definition. It's definitely *a* getaway. Instagram-worthy? Parts, sure! The beaches? Gorgeous. Sunsets? Mind-blowing. BUT… and there’s always a but, right? Remember Aunt Mildred’s potato salad? Looked fabulous, tasted… well, it was there. This is like that. It's a complex beast, this resort. Prepare for some serious good, some "meh", and maybe a dash of "why did *that* happen?" Let's just say you'll have stories. Lots and lots of stories. Like the time I thought the jerk chicken was the BEST thing ever, then spent the next two days thanking the Jamaican tap water for its, shall we say, *cleansing* properties. So, yeah. Paradise-adjacent.
The food! Tell me about the food! Is it… edible? Is it *good*?
The food... Oh, the food! This is where it gets… *interesting*. Look, it's all-inclusive. You get what you pay for. Sometimes it's a glorious, all-you-can-eat buffet of wonderment. The jerk chicken? Spot on. Absolutely addictive. The fresh fruit? Divine. The ackee and saltfish for breakfast (when they have it)? Phenomenal! But other times…well, let's just say my stomach and I had a *few* discussions. The buffet can be a bit… hit or miss. One day, a symphony of flavors; the next, a lukewarm parade of mystery meat. My advice? Embrace the jerk chicken, befriend the omelet station guy (he’s a hero), and ALWAYS try the local dishes when available. And pack some Pepto-Bismol. Just in case. Seriously.
Okay, the beaches. Are they… *beach*-ey? Or are they just a disappointment?
The beaches? OH MY GOODNESS. This is where the Decameron *really* shines! The sand is that powdery, white stuff that just… *squeaks* under your feet. The water? Crystal clear, turquoise perfection. You can literally wade in up to your chest and see the little fishies swimming around. I spent a solid week just parked on the beach, alternating between sunbathing and swimming. There are vendors, sure (more on them later…) but they're generally friendly and not *too* pushy. The sunsets from the beach? Forget about it. They'll steal your heart, your camera, and probably your ability to function normally in the real world for at least a week after you leave. The only issue? They aren't private. So be prepared for some activity but still... Amazing!
What about the rooms? Clean? Dated? Roaches? (Don't lie!)
Alright, the rooms... Let's just say "basic" is the operative word. They're not the Ritz-Carlton. Think functional, a little dated, but generally clean. I didn't encounter any creepy crawlies (thank the travel gods!), which is always a win. The AC worked, the bed was comfy enough after a few rum punches, and hey, you're not there to hang out in your room all day, are you? Don't expect luxury. Expect a place to lay your weary head after a day of sun, swimming, and… well, more rum punches. Just don't be surprised if the décor screams "1980s tropical." It's got its charm, in a, *ahem*, vintage kind of way.
The staff. Are they friendly? Helpful? Or just… going through the motions?
The staff... Ah, the staff! This is where the Decameron truly excels! The Jamaicans are, by and large, incredibly friendly and welcoming. They genuinely want you to have a good time. Sure, you'll encounter the occasional person who seems a bit… detached, but the vast majority are warm, helpful, and always up for a chat. They're the unsung heroes of this place. Tip them! They deserve it! I had a few interactions that really stuck with me. Like the bartender who remembered my drink order after only one day (rum punch, strong!), or the housekeeper who left these amazing towel animals on my bed. It's those little touches that make the place special. They are the real deal.
Okay, the entertainment. Is it… entertaining? Or is it that cheesy, hotel-entertainment type of entertaining?
The entertainment... Ah, the entertainment! It's a mixed bag, let's be honest. You're going to get some cheesy hotel entertainment, that’s just a given. But there are also moments of genuine brilliance. Think steel drum bands playing under the stars (amazing!), reggae nights (absolutely essential!), and some of the local singers and dancers are *fantastic*. Let’s just say the talent level varies. I remember one night… oh dear. They were attempting a Michael Jackson tribute. Let's just say it was… enthusiastic. But hey, you gotta appreciate the effort, right? The atmosphere is key - embrace the silliness, let loose, and have fun. Plus, the shows are a great way to meet people.
Are there vendors constantly hounding people? And the tours are they worth it?
Vendors? Yep, you’ll encounter them. They are on the beach selling everything from jewelry to… well, you name it. They are part of it. They can be persistent, yes, but generally, a firm "no, thank you" will do the trick. Then they'll come back later. It is a dance. The key is to be polite but firm. And be prepared to haggle! I got some beautiful artwork for a song (or like 20 bucks, or whatever). Just be aware of the overinflated prices. The tours? They cost money! The Green Grotto Caves are cool. The Bob Marley mausoleum can be very… spiritual (I'm not a huge fan, to be honest, but people seem to love it). Dunn's River Falls? A MUST-DO, even if you are scared of heights like me. Just read reviews and pick what sounds interesting to YOU. Don't feel pressured to do everything. Remember, you're there to relax!
Let's talk booze. Good selection? Or just watered-down swill?
The booze! Ah,Roam And Rests
