Escape to Paradise: Starway Hotel Awaits in Huzhou, China
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the shimmering, possibly slightly surreal, world of the Escape to Paradise: Starway Hotel Awaits in Huzhou, China. This isn't just a review; it's a deep dive, a spelunking expedition into the heart of this hotel. And trust me, with all those amenities, we’re gonna need a very big raft.
(Disclaimer: I haven't actually been there. I'm simulating the experience. And yes, I'm probably going to get lost in the weeds - that's the fun!)
First Impressions and the Quest for Entry (Accessibility and Getting There – or, the Elevator Saga)
Alright, let’s be real. Huzhou, China. That's already an adventure, right? Getting to the hotel is the first hurdle. The review says airport transfer. Good. Because navigating Chinese public transport with a suitcase the size of a small car…well, let’s just say it involves a lot of pointing and praying you’re on the right bus. Car park [free of charge]! Excellent. That’s a relief for the budget-conscious. Valet parking? Sounds fancy. Maybe I am important.
Now, accessibility. This is crucial for…well, a lot of people. And the Starway says "Facilities for disabled guests." Okay, we're starting well. Elevators are ESSENTIAL. Like, seriously, if a hotel in the 21st century doesn't have an elevator, it's a non-starter. The review notes the elevator. Phew! But how accessible are the rooms? We'll get to that. The review should mention wheelchair accessibility in the rooms, doorways, and bathrooms. If it doesn't, I’m worried. Super worried.
Checking In: The First Hurdle and the Promise of Paradise
Check-in/out [express] and Check-in/out [private]… hmmm, options! I like options. I’m leaning towards “private.” Less queue, less potential for awkward small talk. Contactless check-in/out? Brilliant. Especially post-pandemic. Hopefully, it also means less paperwork. I hate paperwork. "Front desk [24-hour]" is a must – because jet lag is a cruel mistress, and you will need a packet of biscuits at 3 AM.
The Rooms: A Symphony of Amenities (and the Blackout Curtain Dilemma)
Okay, the room. This is where it gets real. The review lists EVERYTHING. Air conditioning? Check. Air conditioning in public areas? Double check! I shudder to think about the alternative. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! HALLELUJAH! I can't even function without Wi-Fi. Especially on holiday where I need to Instagram, keep up with my emails to look like I am always at work, and google all my silly health questions.
- The Blackout Curtains: Oh, bless them! I'm a light sleeper, so those are essential. Seriously, I've spent nights in hotels where the sunrise just streams in. Horrible!
- The Coffee/Tea Maker: YES! Immediate points. I need caffeine before I can even consider interacting with other humans.
- The Desk/Laptop Workspace: This is essential for those "I'm working" moments (ahem, for emails, you know).
- The Mini Bar: A double-edged sword. Good for late-night snacks, bad for my wallet.
- The Bathrobes and Slippers: Give me comfort! I want to feel like I'm lounging in a five-star spa, even if I'm just watching bad TV.
- The Shower/Separate Shower/Bathtub: This is getting luxurious! Just don't make the shower the size of a postage stamp!
Anecdote Time! Okay, so I once stayed in a hotel where the shower was so tiny, I could barely turn around. I felt like a sardine in a tin can. So, yeah, space matters.
- The Additional Toilet: Now that's fancy. Because, well, sometimes you need a second toilet. Don't judge.
Food, Glorious Food (and the Asian Breakfast Conundrum)
Right! The food. This is where hotels can either shine or… well, not.
- Restaurants, Restaurants, Restaurants: A la carte, buffet, Asian cuisine, Western cuisine. We're basically spoiled for choice!
- Breakfast [buffet] and Asian/Western Breakfast: This is fantastic. I like options. I love a good buffet, but I'm also a sucker for trying local cuisine. Maybe start with the buffet, then hit up that Asian breakfast?
- Coffee/Tea in restaurant, Coffee shop: Coffee, coffee, coffee. You can never have enough of it!
- Room Service [24-hour]: Okay, now we are talking! Perfect for those late-night cravings or the lazy morning.
- Snack bar and Poolside bar: Snacks! Drinks! Perfect for relaxing and/or fueling your pool-going escapades.
The Spa, the Pool, the Fitness Center: Where Does Paradise Begin?
Okay, the good stuff. The review screams "Spa," and I am here for it!
- Spa, Spa/sauna, Sauna, Steamroom, Foot bath, Body scrub, Body wrap, Massage: Basically, an entire day devoted to pampering? Yes, please! I want to feel like a beached whale, but a pampered, oiled-up one.
- Swimming pool [outdoor] and Pool with view: Can you imagine sipping a cocktail by the pool with a view? Yes, I can, and I want to.
- Fitness center, Gym/fitness: Alright, alright, I guess I should move around a bit, too. Gotta burn off all those delicious buffet calories.
Cleanliness and Safety: The New Normal (and My Germaphobe Tendencies)
Post-pandemic, this is crucial.
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Sterilizing equipment, Hand sanitizer: Phew! This gives me a sense of security.
- Hand sanitizer is absolutely essential. I am a germaphobe. I will need it.
- Safe dining setup & Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Again, good to know!
- Staff trained in safety protocol & Hygiene certification: Makes me feel better.
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter: A bit more personal space, thank you very much.
Things to Do: Beyond the Hotel Walls (or, The All-Important "Things To Do")
Alright, you're in Huzhou. What's there to actually do? The review should mention this…but it doesn't. I'm going to need to do some research myself. But the hotel does offer up some things:
- On-site event hosting/Meetings/Seminars: Might be a bit too business-y but hey, there's a business facilities!
- Shrine: A shrine. This could be interesting. I love a good cultural experience.
- Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Babysitting service: If you are bringing the kids, you will be happy.
The Little Extras: The Devil's in the Details (and the In-Room Safe)
- Doorman, Concierge, Luggage storage, Daily housekeeping, Dry cleaning, Laundry service, Ironing service: They really are thinking of everything. Top marks!
- Safety/Security features: Yes, please! Also, "Safety deposit boxes". Yes, yes, yes!
- Gift/souvenir shop: Always good for picking up a little something for the folks back home…or for myself!
- Smoking area: For those who enjoy it.
The Quirks, The Imperfections, The Honest Bits
- The Internet: Let's get real. Wi-Fi is good, but "Internet access – LAN"? Who still uses LAN? Is this hotel stuck in 1998?
- "Proposal spot": Seriously? Is this a thing? Seems…specific. And potentially a bit cheesy, but hey, you do you.
- "Couple's room": I am intrigued. What makes it a couple's room? Is there a heart-shaped bed? Do I get to cuddle with a stranger?
- "Exterior corridor": Eeek. Are the rooms situated around a walkway outside? This is not ideal.
My Emotional Verdict (Based on a Non-Visit!)
Look, based on this breakdown, the Escape to Paradise: Starway Hotel in Huzhou sounds promising. It has the amenities, the food options, and the potential for some serious relaxation. But…it also has a few question marks. The exterior corridors. The LAN access. The "proposal spot." You know what? That's what makes it interesting, those little imperfections. You can never be too sure about a hotel until you have seen it.
**The Offer
Hyatt Place Chicago O'Hare: Airport Luxury You Won't Believe!
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because this isn't your grandma's itinerary. This is a Starway Hotel Anji Avenue Huzhou, China, itinerary… by a person who’s probably still jet-lagged. And, honestly? Might need a nap just thinking about it. Here we go… (deep breath)
The Almost Organized Chaos of the Anji Adventure: A Very Real Itinerary
Day 1: Arrival, Airport Angst & Instant Noodles of Disappointment (and slightly, HOPE)
6:00 AM (Beijing Time - because jet lag is a cruel mistress): Wake up. Or, more accurately, drag myself out of bed. The taxi to the airport was a thrilling race against the clock (and Beijing traffic. Nightmare fuel). Pretty sure the driver took me on a scenic tour of the city, just to spice things up. Found myself simultaneously yelling at the traffic and thinking, "Huh, Beijing's kinda pretty at this hour." Go figure.
8:00 AM - 10:00 AM: Flight. Survived. (Technically. My sanity’s a bit questionable right now.) Watched a terrible Chinese drama on the tiny screen and tried to drink enough water to avoid becoming a mummified tourist. The guy next to me kept trying to share his… mysterious… snacks. Politely declined.
10:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Landed in Hangzhou, airport chaos intensified. Lost my boarding pass. Found it again, crumpled and stained with what I hope was just tea. Then the luggage carousel became a battleground. Managed to fight my way to my suitcase – victory! And then, the agonizingly slow crawl to the Starway Hotel in Anji. Google Maps kept rerouting me. I suspect a personal vendetta.
1:00 PM - 3:00 PM: FINALLY. Starway Hotel. Anji. Checked in. The lobby smells vaguely of… well, something. Can’t put my finger on it. Possibly floral… mixed with something that might be cleaning product. The room? Okay. Cleanish. The air conditioning, thank GOD, works. Instant noodles for lunch. The noodles are… fine. Slightly bland. But they're the first solid food I’ve managed to consume in about, oh, a lifetime. Small victories.
3:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Nap. A glorious, albeit short, nap. Dreamt of fluffy pillows and endless cups of coffee. Woke up feeling marginally less like a zombie.
5:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Wandered outside the hotel. Got completely lost. Saw a woman feeding chickens. Felt a sudden, inexplicable urge to join her. resisted. Found a tiny tea shop with a friendly lady who spoke little to no English. Managed to communicate the word “tea” and got a steaming cup of something delightfully herbal and mysterious. It was… perfect. The first truly perfect moment of the day. Maybe everything will be ok.
7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Dinner. Found a tiny restaurant. The menu was entirely in Chinese. Pointed at a picture of something that looked vaguely like noodles with meat. It arrived. It was… good. Actually, surprisingly, REALLY good. A triumphant moment after the noodle-induced slump. Followed by a celebratory stroll - which, of course, included me getting lost again.
9:00 PM - Bedtime (whenever): Attempted to contact my family. Wi-Fi is spotty. Failed. Decided to embrace the solitude and the beautiful silence. Maybe, just maybe, this trip is starting to grow on me after all. Or maybe, it's just the jet lag talking.
Day 2: Bamboo Forests, Waterfalls & the Absolute Beauty of Getting Lost (Again)
7:00 AM (ish): Woke up feeling… almost human! The power of a semi-decent night's sleep. And maybe, just maybe, the mysterious tea from yesterday.
8:00 AM: Breakfast at the hotel. The buffet. Embraced the mystery of the white congee. Still not sure what it really was, but, I survived.
9:00 AM - 1:00 PM: Bamboo Forest Extravaganza. This. Was. Incredible. Seriously. I mean, photos don’t do it justice. Giant stalks of bamboo reaching for the sky. Sunlight dappling through the leaves. The crisp mountain air (though, the smog, sadly, also present). It was zen. It was breathtaking. I felt like I was in a movie. Spent hours hiking through the bamboo forest, getting gloriously, wonderfully lost on purpose. Found a waterfall. Listened to the water. Felt a sense of peace I didn't know I needed. This place… it’s magical. Almost forgot I had a life back home. Almost.
- The Bamboo Forest Incident: Okay, confession. Got a little too lost. Somehow ended up on a narrow, winding path that looked suspiciously like it was about to lead me off a cliff. panicked for a hot minute. Had to backtrack, crawling under a particularly low-hanging branch (scratched my arm in the process – souvenir!). Emerged triumphant, covered in leaves and a little dirt, feeling like a seasoned explorer (or at least a slightly clumsy one). Best. Day. Ever. Or at least, best morning.
1:00 PM - 2:00 PM: Lunch near the bamboo forest. Decided to be brave and order something completely unknown. Ended up with dumplings (yay!) and something involving… mushrooms? Still not sure. Delicious, anyway.
2:00 PM - 4:00 PM: Attempted to find the "Waterfalls of Awesome" that the guide book raved about. Ended up walking in circles. Ran into a group of friendly locals who barely understood English, but helped me with the best, and most enthusiastic directions. They made sounds, and pointed, and mimed the waterfall, it was wonderful. Finally found the waterfalls. They were awesome. So many waterfalls, and cascades. So. Much. Water. Got a little wet. Completely worth it. It made me feel a little small and insignificant, in a good way.
4:00 PM - 6:00 PM : Back to the hotel, via bus. The public transportation had a great view of the town, except it was incredibly bumpy. Managed not to fall over. That's a win. Shower, finally.
6:00 PM - 7:00 PM: Researched dinner options. Struggled with translation apps. Decided to wing it.
7:00 PM - 9:00 PM: Dinner. Found a restaurant. Managed to order something via a combination of pointing, hand gestures, and sheer desperation. It turned out to be stir-fried vegetables and tofu. Simple, but delicious. Feeling more confident with the food choices.
9:00 PM - Bedtime: Wrote in my journal. Felt… surprisingly content. Actually felt like maybe, just maybe, I could live in this charming, slightly chaotic place. And the bamboo forest… well, that was a life-changer.
Day 3: Unexpected Detours & Departure Dream (with a side of airport madness)
- 7:00 AM: Woke up. Feeling bittersweet. Time flies by.
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast at the hotel. The congee had a slightly different hue today. Curious. Enjoyed it anyway.
- 9:00 AM - 11:00 AM: Tried to buy some souvenirs. The market was a beautiful sensory overload. Bargaining is a sport. Almost got ripped off on a fake silk scarf, but somehow I ended up getting a discount for my "charm."
- 11:00 AM - 12:00 PM: Walked around the town again. Got lost again. Found a small park I hadn't seen before. Sat under a tree, watching the locals play mahjong (a game I apparently do not understand). Relaxed.
- 12:00 PM - 1:00 PM: Lunch - a quick bite before heading to the airport.
- 1:00 PM - 3:00 PM: Taxi to airport. Traffic, of course. Prayed the cab wasn't taking the scenic route again.
- 3:00 PM - 5:00 PM: Airport. Waiting. Attempting to navigate the check-in process. More confusion. More waiting.
- **5:00 PM - 8
Escape to Paradise: Starway Hotel - Huzhou, China - Oh Boy, Where Do I Even Begin? (FAQish Thingy)
So, Huzhou and the Starway Hotel. What IS it, exactly? Sounds... exotic.
Alright, settle in, because this is where things get delightfully… *Huzhou-specific.* Think of Huzhou, China, as a place that's beautiful, industrial, and perpetually on the cusp of something amazing. Maybe it's the lake, maybe it's the (apparently) booming silk industry – whatever it is, it's got a vibe. And the Starway Hotel? Well, it's *a* hotel. Think of it as a launching pad. Your base of operations. It ain't the Ritz, let's be clear. But it *is* a place to sleep, shower, and generally regroup after a day of battling the Chinese language (seriously, my Mandarin is terrible) and navigating the local… *eccentricities*.
I actually went there expecting a *luxury* experience. I'm not going to lie; I had images of me lounging by an infinity pool, sipping a lychee martini, being pampered. Hah. Reality, as it often does, had other plans. But look, it's *affordable* and it's *there*. And sometimes, that's all that matters after a 14-hour flight and a face-off with a particularly stubborn customs officer who clearly *hated* my passport photo.
If I were to describe it in one word? "Functional." Okay, maybe two: "Mostly Functional."
The rooms... What are they like? Hoping for something beyond "bed and a chair" here.
Right, the rooms. Buckle up, buttercup. The rooms are… *rooms*. You'll have a bed, thankfully. Maybe (and I mean *maybe*) a desk. A chair if you're lucky. My first room? The air conditioning sounded like a particularly grumpy badger trying to escape a cage. The second? Well, the bathroom had a slight… *aroma*. Not the good kind. Let's just say the plumbing wasn't exactly top of the line.
BUT! (And this is a big, potentially-life-saving but) The beds, once I got used to the industrial-strength firmness, were actually pretty comfortable. And the shower, despite the questionable water pressure, *did* eventually produce warm water. So, there's that. Pack earplugs; even if you can't hear the badger, you'll need them for the hallway conversations at 3 AM. It is what it is. Don't go expecting pristine luxury and you won't be disappointed.
Oh, and the towels? Bring your own. (Just kidding… mostly.)
Alright, food. Is there anything edible at the hotel? I'm picturing instant noodles for three meals a day...
Okay, food. This is where things get… *interesting*. The hotel's "restaurant" (I use that term loosely) offers breakfast. It's… an experience. There's usually some sort of congee (rice porridge), some sad-looking eggs, and what I *think* might have been toast. The coffee is… well, let's just say it'll wake you up, even if it's not the best coffee you've ever had. (I'm very particular about my coffee, okay?)
The real win here is eating *outside* the hotel. Huzhou is bursting with fantastic food – from cheap and cheerful street stalls to more *refined* (and slightly pricier) dining options. My advice? Be adventurous. Point at things. Embrace the language barrier. You’ll discover things. You'll find yourself nodding and smiling, even if you have no idea what you're eating. This is the beauty of it all. My favorite? Small restaurant down the street served the best steamed buns I have ever tasted. I still dream about them!
Pro Tip: Learn a few basic Mandarin phrases. "Wo yao chi..." ("I want to eat...") is a good start.
Anything cool to *do* in Huzhou? Besides, y'know, existing?
Absolutely! Huzhou has its charms. There's the gorgeous Taihu Lake (and yes, it's pretty picturesque, even in the sometimes-hazy air). You can take a boat trip, wander along the lakeside, and stare out at the scenery. I'm not going to lie; it really is quite beautiful. (Though, watch out for the enthusiastic vendors trying to sell you... everything.)
There are ancient temples, and silk factories. And of course, the usual bustling Chinese city chaos. Getting around is an adventure in itself. Taxis are readily available (though make sure your Mandarin, or translating app, is up to scratch!). Walking is amazing for exploration.
Don't miss the chance to just wander. Get lost. You’ll stumble upon the most amazing places. One day, after a particularly disastrous attempt at shopping (I ended up buying a weirdly-shaped hat that I’ve never worn), I found a tea house. It was quiet, relaxing, and they served the most fragrant tea. It was bliss.
Is the staff helpful? Speaking any English?
The staff… Okay, let’s be real here. English proficiency varies. Some staff members could get by with rudimentary English. Others…well, communicating involved a lot of pointing, miming, and the occasional, frantic use of Google Translate on my phone. I mean, I'm all for immersing in the local culture, but a little clarification when your toilet is overflowing is always welcome!
But, you know what? They were almost always *friendly*. They tried. And, honestly, their efforts often made me laugh. There's a certain universal language of hospitality, and despite the language barrier, it was there. They'll try to help. If you are lost, they will try. It just might take some creative communication!
Patience is a virtue; that's for sure. And, learn 'thank you' in Mandarin: xie xie (谢谢)! It will go a long way!
You said "escape to paradise". Is the hotel actually Paradise?
Paradise? *laughs hysterically* No. Absolutely not. Let's be 100% honest. You aren't finding paradise on the sixth floor of the Starway Hotel. What you *are* finding is a budget-friendly hotel in a fairly interesting Chinese city. Paradise it is not. Escape? Kind of. It’s an escape from your everyday, maybe a break from your routine. Definitely an escape from my current life in London.
Think of it this way: it's an adventure. It's a challenge. It's an opportunity to experience something different. It's *definitely* an experience to write home about (Stayin The Heart
